ADAM ESCH
systems engineer
SUBCLASSES
wizard 4 — order of scribes
intelligence · dc 19 · atk +11the most 'computer whisperer' class on the sheet — a spellbook run like a magical ide.
CHARACTER APPEARANCE
ALLIES & ORGANIZATIONS
esch systems
organizationfounder & ceo
ai-first consultancy for modern empire builders, specializing in agentic systems
wellford gallery
organizationgallerist
contemporary art gallery showcasing homoerotic artists with a focus on analog, non-digital art
thnk
organizationcto
mood-tagged micro-posting app, a place where thoughts live
BACKSTORY
summary
a computer engineer from indiana who has professionally managed entire datacenters and architected cloud infrastructure for fortune 500 companies. after a decade of keeping other people's systems alive, he struck out on his own and now pours his out-of-the-box, unconventional approaches into his own company, a friend's startup and his husband's gallery. years of walking datacenter floors have resulted in him having a *fantastic* ass
ideals
believes ai represents a paradigm shift as transformative as the internet was in the 1990s
bonds
loves cats 🐱, demonstrates cross-domain mastery, is a pirate
flaws
wants to be a billionaire, has too many ideas, cannot perceive time
PROFICIENCIES & LANGUAGES
EQUIPMENT
FEATURES & TRAITS
wizardly quill
order of scribesconjure an inkless quill that copies any text you've seen. scribing a spell into the book takes 2 minutes per spell level instead of 2 hours.
awakened spellbook
order of scribesthe spellbook is your focus. once per turn you can swap a wizard spell's damage type for any that appears elsewhere in the book. ritual casting takes +1 minute instead of +10.
arcane recovery
order of scribesafter a short rest, once per long rest, recover wizard spell slots totaling up to 2 slot levels.
high school valedictorian
wizardyour mastery of test-taking transcends mere knowledge. you have advantage on all standardized tests and can achieve perfect scores without studying through pure academic intuition and pattern recognition.
curse: adhd
human, variantyour mind is a swirling maelstrom of simultaneous interests and half-finished projects. you have disadvantage on concentration checks but gain advantage on knowledge checks across all domains. new hobbies appear in your life like random encounters.
greybeard
computer whisperer"do not cite the deep magic to me, witch! i was there when it was written"
platinum star gay
human, variantyou are so fucking fabulous that you had to be delivered via c-section.
alchemical mastery
occultistthrough sheer force of will and arcane knowledge, you have purified your soul by escaping the clutches of hell itself. your spirit has been transmuted into something stronger, granting you resistance to all forms of corruption and the ability to cleanse toxins from body and mind.
rizz 'em with the 'tism
human, variantyour neurodivergent charm is so powerful that you instructed a robot to help you build an entire d&d character sheet website just to showcase your personality. advantage on persuasion checks when discussing hyperfixations.
lazy programmer
computer whispereryou are physically and morally incapable of performing the same task manually more than once. the mere thought of repetitive work fills you with existential dread. you automatically seek to automate, script, or delegate any process that needs to be done twice.
STATS
SKILLS
SAVING THROWS
ALIASES
SPELLBOOKS
JOURNAL
vibe-coded this website
2025-08-29built my personal website as a d&d character sheet with help from claude. sometimes the best approach is to just vibe with the code and let creativity flow.